THE FAULT IN OUR "GIRLS"

Well , I sincerely hope Mr.John Green ( Author of "The Fault In our Stars") won't mind for borrowing his title and making some slight alterations here and there. I could never make out a more suitable title than this - "the Fault In our Girls".

Have you ever imagined a world where both genders , males and females are treated equally??.....To start with , I'm not a feminist , please don't get me wrong. But yes , I BELIEVE  wonders can happen in our society if we are treated equally. Admit it , we still stare   if we see a girl of 16 cycling (It actually happened with one of my closest buddies.....Stares , wolf-whistles , comments and what not.........but unfortunately for them , she was quite an expert in self-defense). If you walk to your home at 7 at night , people again stares at you shamelessly as if you are dancing on the public road. We are banned by our own family from wearing jeans , shirts , shorts and skirts saying it will "TEMPT" the opposite gender. Even if your family has not restricted you from wearing all this , don't worry at all. You , yourself will soon give up all those being fed up with the unnecessary comments and the stares. (but no , don't blame the "boys" for wearing the pants in the low-waist fashion which looks like its going to fall off at any second........after all "BOYS ARE BOYS" , right?! ).

I first felt there was a barrier in the case of equality between a girl and boy in my lower classes itself. When a girl cried no one actually cared about it saying the whole "senti-thing" was in her blood. But when a boy cried there was such a fuss about it.Why??..........Because they are "NOT SUPPOSED" to cry?? In most of the films,an actor's name is shown first , even if it is a women-oriented film.Why is that???? (And no we can't imagine a film without the glam and glitter of the heroine , can we? ). The little things , like , cutting your hair short or adopting a tomboy style , or even to their horror , getting a tattoo make the whole society gawk at us. We are labelled as "a girl with no limits.....beware of her".

Things doesn't end here. It seems that the moment a girl is born , the whole of the society cannot wait to attend her marriage. The sooner,the better.  As soon as you get a job and you turn 24 , you are ready to be married off. It doesn't matter even if you don't want to. Its for the society - in other words , we are not creating a chance to raise their fingers at us. You have to be married off as early as possible. Its the verdict of the SOCIETY  and you HAVE to abide by it. Guys can remain unmarried , but after all they are "boys"!!!!! You cannot because you are WEAK , FRAGILE and just a WOMAN . You are not safe out there .Even Manusmriti , the earliest metrical work on Brahminical Dharma in Hinduism states, "Balya va………………….” – 5/150. A female child, young woman or old woman is not supposed to work independently even at her place of residence." But the same society remains dumb and unresponsive as the number in dowry deaths and rape cases increases day by day. Why pray , it happens like that??????

We were all outrageous and enraged when we came to know what happened at Delhi just two years back. We did everything we could. Rallies , protests , more talk - time and shows in TV , magazines and newspapers were splashed with the "so-called news".New and interesting versions everywhere. We made the victim , a silent martyr. Speeches and debates all around said that she was very brave. Channels competed with each other to make her life story and what happened with her in to a series of soap with more drama each time. Some said our society has sunk into levels we could never even imagine.  And like every other sensational news , it all settled down after-a-while. After all , we all had a life to live. We cannot spend our entire life mourning on what happened with her.

Just a month back , another rape case in the country made all of us dumb-founded. But , mind you , no candlelight vigils this time. NO protests, no rallies , no soaps. In the long list of such crimes against Dalit Women, against ALL women in this country, this one has been noted. We have run out of words. Rapes are not minor items on the crime pages. But at the end of all this, when yet another horrendous crime is reported , what do we do ????? We READ , we RAGE and then we turn the PAGE.  And I’m surprised beyond measure , even after all this people actually blame girls for it and support those who did the heinous crime saying  “Boys will be boys . They make mistakes “. Behold girls ,you are living in a world where you have no value. You are like a china toy that can break at any second . In this male –dominated society , you cannot dream , let only breath. If someone misbehaves with you , its your mistake. May be the way you dressed provoked them . Or it’s the way you look . Or they are just bored and you are the new “item”. But its not their mistake. They belong to the MALE gender. Its in their blood. If anyone is to be blamed , its you. THIS IS YOUR FAULT……………

 This is what a girl wants to ask to our “society”, our culture, our tradition , our superstitions……..She wants to scream this out to the whole universe. In fact , this is the one and only question that lingers in her mind – “Is it my fault that I was born a “GIRL”?????????

Pause for a moment here. Think . Is this what our girls deserve? Is this what your mother , sister , wife or daughter deserve?. An honest answer would have been NO. I didn’t knew those who were brutally raped and hanged . Yet , I’m doing what I can do against this atrocity . Which I can do within my power. Raising my voice , against all the odds. This is not the voice of a single girl .Its the voice of all those who are waiting out there in their mother’s womb  to be tagged as a “GIRL” . It’s the voice of all those who have tasted all the bitterness of BEING a girl. We can still change the situation in our society tremendously by raising our voice against what is WRONG. As we mourn for all those who have been victims in this male-dominated society , we must stop and ask ourselves : Is this the society we want? If not , what  are we doing to CHANGE IT?????

AWAY WITH THE BLUES.............

Some days - they just don't work for us. We may not have an inkling of clue why everything we do that day goes entirely wrong. Why on earth does that smirk in our siblings face make us snap at them?? (Usually , they make all kinds of faces at you and you do it all back........but today....).We usually don't retort back to the snappish comments of our elder brother and sister.......but today you have created a World War 3 at our home. Pondering on what had gone wrong?? Join the club . You are not alone in that "blue-zone" of yours.

There may be a thousand reasons for this "haughty-avatar" of ours . But deep inside , we know that the day is all going to be grey -dull , moody and slogging.We may desperately need a mood - elevator just to get out of our blue-zone .We feel discouraged and think what happened to the "after all life is beautiful" mantra of ours . Nothing seems worthwhile.We may go on replaying in what we have been stuck a thousand times. We may snap at someone unnecessarily and make them offended too. The very memory of the thing / person / issues who is the root cause of all the troubles seems to haunt us. We will feel butterflies fluttering in our stomach at their very glimpse. We will not have the usual sensations or emotions of a normal human being.The whole world seems void and blank. We may feel sick like we are going to throw up at any second.........:(

I'm a totally off-balanced person(no , that doesn't mean I'm crazy or nuts!!). Most of the time I'm the happiest girl in this universe , but when I get depressed, its a Herculean task for me to snap out of it. I'm not good at maintaining an equilibrium with my emotions. Only God knows how my friends manage to put up with me , when I'm in one of my "worstest" (Pardon me , for breaking the rules of grammar....;))time. I'm annoying , irritating and moreover i become the source of all the confusion and chaos in this universe. I'm switched into a zombie mood and stays clueless and confused all the time. Crying does help to a extent , but the tag of being a "grown-up girl" and the croaking sounds you make after that is not at all pleasant. And trust me when I say you this , not a SOUL , feels too cheerful thinking about the prospect of spending time with you when you are still in your "blue-zone".

There are a million ways just to hop out from your blue-zone......(trust me , it all had worked for me...:D).One simple way is to try up the "JAB WE MET" theory of Kareena Kapoor.Write everything up , call whatever names you want to call a person , burn it and flush it up.There....its gone forever now.Feeling much better????........Another one is to confide.Ring up your closest buddies and let everything out.Shout , scream , sob, remain silent.........do whatever you want to do. And remember "a friend in in need is a friend indeed(the usual classy line!!!!!!). But you have to take care of the flaring phone-bills you got to expect and the rest of the earthquake you can imagine.(As in my case , I'm forever indebted to Gayathri Suresh , Aparna Menon and Arya Bhaskar, the first "three", I usually call upon......They put up everything I do(er....well, most of it....Guyz , I love you for it!!!!!!!!!!). Another one is to make yourself a strong cup of tea or coffee and go outside instead staying shut inside your room.Be careful of taking too much of caffeine, the experience will not at all be a pleasant one. Divert your mind as much as you can will definitely help you to get away with your blues. Keep yourself busy as much as you can. Try doing what you once loved to do. Book lovers , go and grab a book or two. Go through your old snaps - seeing the faces your loved ones will unleash a wave of memories and it will help to lighten up your mood. Take a walk , admire the beauty of nature and breathe some fresh air will do you no harm.

After all , it goes ....."I'm the master of my fate and I'm the captain of my soul.".......life is indeed very short. Think of how much would you be missing in these beautiful days if you remain "bluey".Bad experiences teaches us new things , accept it and start on a fresh note.If your day goes blue , try painting it in another colour............:D

LET'S GO CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently , I was watching a Hollywood film - "Ramona and Beezus" and it sure became one of my all-time favourites.One of the star attraction of the film was the famous pop-star Selena Gomez , who hit jackpot with her album "Stars Dance".But even though Selena charms us all with her looks and attitude , for me the star attraction was the kid who played the role of Ramona - Joey King.

I'm one among those who read the book before seeing the film. And  for me the bookish version is always better - be it Harry Potter , Hunger Games , Jane Eyre , Little Women , Anne of the Green Gables , the newly released Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars (Thanks to the e-world) and yes , even the utmost cheesy and sickening Twilight Series.But about this film , I'm not so sure about the book.It was nice , of course , but Ramona in the silver-screen seemed more interesting.

She clearly does not give a damn about how the society perceive her.She go for he dreams-however stupid , childish or "terrifical" it seems.She does it all without a slightest care about the world.Her sister Beezus put it this way , "Ramona does not care about painting outside the picture".

The problem with us , "the serious lot" is that we care too much about how others see us.( Yes , this lot includes me too......:)) . We try to be someone else for the sake of others.All our uniqueness gets lost in the process, But even after all this the question remains , "Was it all worth?????."

One of my close friends (let's call her SA) is like the miniature version of Ramona. She is the biggest basketball freak I have ever seen in my life.When the rest of us goes left , she goes right. She loved watching all the reality shows and soaps even tests were scheduled on the next day. She jokes and prance about like a girl of 6 .She really did not care what others thought about her. It seemed as if she saw the world with her very own eyes. She never clouded it for anyone else.

Take my instance as an example. When I was little I used to dance like crazy even when a silly tune was played.All my grown up cousins would look at me like I had gone completely nuts. But , I was like -"think what you want , I just don't care".But when two weeks ago" Balam Pichkari" was blaring from the speakers I watched my little sister prancing to the song dumbfounded. I was totally amused. I realised with a jolt that I used to be that girl just a few years back. But when did she fade away?? All these passing years , I had to leave my innocence and childish "stuff" in the long thorny path of my life.I did a vague attempt to regain it all back when that feeling of something being lost began to sink in.I tried to prance around with my sis but I was shooed down. Everyone howled with laughter when I told them about my crazy theory. They all told the same thing , "Grow up , Girl!!!!"........

And what more do you expect? All the daily constant remainders from my teachers ( you are not a kid anymore!!) , relatives (Grow up!) , friends (For a while , let's be serious..) forced me to become the "MISS-SERIOUS ONE" (Is it okay to smile???...Sit like this?....what would others think??!!!). I would say it was very cowardly of myself. I was rather afraid of what others thought about me. I thought it would be the best if I remained "normal" what others thought to be "normal". But it was Ramona and Miss. S who succeeded in convincing me the other way. They both taught me that it is okay to be yourself , no matter how different you are from others. Each one of us should have our own version of seeing things and that's what makes each one us unique.

It's okay to be a total stupid and idiot or different rather than being a mechanized instrument. After all , as they say....

YOU JUST HAVE TO BE YOURSELF. LIVE LIFE IN YOUR WAY. AFTER ALL WHO CARES OR GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT US , RIGHT???.......:) ;)

SIMPLE TIPS TO EXHIBIT SUPREME PATIENCE.........IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IS YOUR PATIENCE GETTING OVER??? –here is a remedy. Do you feel your adrenalin rising up???Do you seriously think you are in trouble? Well, if that is so then I have a solution...........

Write up all your troubles in a piece of paper. Bring it to flames and flush it up. Does that seem silly? Then I’m not joking, this is one worth trying (it may be the “jab we met theory”. But why can’t it work for you when it works well with kareena?)J

Find more patience. SMILE A LOT (yeah I know you are about to blast off or use your AK47 but naah! you are wrong at that note). If not possible, laugh. Show your teeth to your so-called accused. (Hurray! My teeth are white).The person in front of you may think you are nuts.But trust me, this truly is not the time to worry on what others think. Let go of it (at least this time).

        SPEAK UP. Silence is no longer gold. Best way-speak it all to your mom. Believe me here you will find an instant relief. (Works well with cool moms like mine).next way-ring up your trusted friend and speak it all up. No you are not going low at this. (But only one problem in that…your phone bill will be flaring up and it proves to be an ever time high!J)

          Bite your lips, pinch yourself hard or dig your nails on you and just KEEP QUIET at least in front of your accused.(yes I know you have the anger to throw a coconut right on his head).But wait, do not do that. Not this time. Heads down and count 1to 10 on your fingers. Do not think of anything this time. (Yeah! this one is as hard as your board exams! But you’ll have to give a go for it!)

       Next is my most favorite one. Get yourself plugged and listen to your favorite cheerful music. It will help soothing you. Feel how your adrenalin oozes away. Think of a joke you remember this time.

   After all “ALL IS WELL” (‘Rubbish what is well??The only well that I can think of now is the one I feel like jumping into!’)Does someone inside you say like this? Next step-reply to it again ‘ALL IS WELL DAMMIT!’

   Keep your temper always under your feet. Stick to these steps.10 seconds over. Do you find yourself pondering “was I angry :0?” That’s done then. LAUGH YOUR ANGER OUT THIS WAY.J

MY SUPERMAN

There was a time in my 16 years of life when i used to care only about my favourite cartoons and toffees. When getting ready meant just combing your hair neat and putting a lot of powder. When the most difficult task was to choose a colour pen from your colour set. It was a time when the kids of my age used to adore superheros - batman , spiderman and what not . But my hero was my living superman.

I loved each and everything about him.Even the little things.I used to watch him with my little eyes full of wonder. Most of the roles played by a mother was done by my dad. It was he who taught me to sit. To walk. For my mom's horror , first word uttered by me was "acchan"........:). He was always there when I needed him the most.My annual days , Sports days, PTA meetings......everywhere. He was in the front row with a camera , recording whenever i presented something on-stage. (longtime..........:) )

Even though I was the only daughter of my parents he was always there as an irritating brother. I was not the "pampered princess" of my parents. He used to fight with me (and still does) even for very little things.We laugh together in the most stupidiest of things we see till our stomach hurts.He always manage to make me laugh even in my moodiest of times, I still don't know how.He is always there as a good listener for me. No matter how stupid or serious it seems , he listens to the whole thing as if it is is the most important thing for him in this world..........(hearing the blabbering of a 16 year old.)

I love when he shows his care and concern in very little things-let that be a day in my school , even a ride with him in the car or when travelling in a bus (yes! like all other typical parents , he asks me the usual question - "mole , irikkan seetu kittiyo?"). He is willing to take any pain and effort for me. I cannot forget when he was ready to drop me to my school every single day during my 10 boards even though he was not very well at that time. One of my best friend forwarded me the above pic and I kept it as our computer's background pic just to know what he says and I know it was worth setting seeing him smile. But , of course , just to irritate me , he smirked -" There is no need to try to soften up me like this , u know.Its not going to work." (rolling eyes.........:))

I was amused to hear the lyrics of Taylor Swift's album , The Best Day........."I have an excellent father , his strength is making me stronger." It rang true , for me.Indeed , each passing day I know my days with him are getting shorter and shorter. But he makes it a point to make it all worthwhile. He was , is and will be my everything...............MY BROTHER , MY BEST FRIEND , MY MENTOR , MY FIRST LOVE , MY TEACHER and moreover he excels in the role of being my dad. My superman never fails to amuse me every single day. LOVE YOU SUPERMAN.

MYSELF , UNPLUGGED...............

A warm hi to all my dear folks out there ,

This was something I thought I would never have the guts to do . To create a blog and scribble up everything I could come up with.But then , out of an impulse , I just did it - "MUSINGS OF A MIDNIGHT GIRL".

Everyone  (well , that includes you too......:D)has got a "Crazy-Loony" side in all of us..........there is one side where all the "not - logical , not-possible , sometimes even fantasical stuff" is build up . Most of the folks name this midnight musings as "DREAMS" and let them remain as they are. We never , even for a second , pause to listen to that voice properly......Do we????We never , ever think , even if those "midnight musings" are practical ones , how to accomplish it . It just remains closed with the broken dreams and worn out wishes in attic of our mind.

Helen Keller , in her autobigraphy "The Story Of My Life " point out....."After all , every one who wishes to follow their dreams must climb the Hill Difficulty alone , and since there is no royal road to the summit , I must zigzag it in my own way. I slip back many times , I fall , I stand still , I run against the edge of hidden obstacles , I lose my temper and find it again and keep it better , I trudge on , I gain a little , I feel encouraged , I get more eager and climb higher and begin to see the widening horizon. Every struggle is a victory . One more effort and I reach the luminous cloud , the blue depths of the sky , the uplands of my desire"......She is one in a million and she had nothing but her will - power and optimism to cling into. But what about us? We have practically everything in the world , but yet we are not focused and seems lost.

Famous Indian writer Chetan Bhagat ,in one of his speeches given at an orientation programme for MBA students in Symbiosis , Pune called those midnight musings and the bubbling excitement in us as "Sparks"......."There is a spark in each and everyone of us . Remember Kareena Kapoor in the first half of Jab We Met versus the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark????????
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing-to give your spark the fuel , continuously. The second is to guard against storms."

The midnight musings inside us make our sparks shine brighter.It makes us realise that we have not only to live , but feel ALIVE each moment in our life .We all are here for a reason , a purpose. There is no fun in living your life in a mechanised daily routine.Live each second in your way.Never be afraid of how the society defines you. (after all Who Cares , right?). It does not matter if you paint outside the lines in the big picture of  your life. Paint it in your way and have no regrets.

Just don't curb away all your "midnight musings". Keep some time for them even if they are completely pointless and stupid and just see for yourself  how your life becomes wonderful.!!!!!!

Smile always................Be full of zest...................and drop in here once in a while.................;D